Looking Back

I spent a day last week looking for some certain photos to use in a "secret" project I'm making and came across many old photos of myself. Photos of me that I don't even remember...my past that I don't have any recollection of...a time of my life which seems like it belonged to someone else. As I look at the photos I remember the places that the pictures were taken, but I don't remember myself as a child. I wonder if this happens to everyone? Or do some people remember their life growing up as a child? I remember a few things, but much escapes my memory.

I find this sad...sad to realize that someday my own children won't remember their lives growing up in our home and all the special things we did as a family. I guess I can remind them while I am still here on this earth...remind them that they were special...that they had love in their lives...that their mom and dad were and are proud of their accomplishments...that we thought they were the cutest kids that walked the earth...that we can hardly believe that so many years have gone by in what seems like a blink of an eye.

We as parents want our children to grow up too fast - and then when they are grown up, we wish they were small again. Because if they were small again we could somehow control what they are doing in their lives...if they were small again we could change the way we brought them up and somehow do it a little better or different. We only want the best for our children and when we think that somehow we have failed as parents, we would go back in a heartbeat to change things. There are so many things that I would do differently...better...wiser...doing it out of love instead of reacting on impulse. But, being that I was never a parent before, I was growing in this role just as my child was growing in age. So in a sense we were learning and growing together. Learning from our mistakes and moving on...living one day at a time and hoping for the best for our children. Now as they approach adulthood I hope that they can take what we have given and taught them and go forward in life to make a difference in this world. A positive difference that they can show others. A legacy...and, when they look at photos of themselves as children I hope that they can recall the memories of their childhood, and all the love and care and time that was spent on them. I hope that they can remember all of this and smile...